My Experience with a Toxic Boss

The question of "WHY ME?" for 4 years, 5 months and 11 days

I used to envy my colleagues and friends who had great bosses. I envied their smiles, their work-life balance, their motivation. I wondered why their careers seemed so smooth while mine felt like a daily battle. I remember asking myself countless times, “Why me?”

I was serving in a toxic environment for 4 years 5 months and 11 days to be exact. That was longer than my 2.5 years of National Service. And trust me, I would rather enlist again than relive those 4 years of relentless mental torture. It felt like hell.

Every day, I woke up with dread. The fear of stepping into the office. The fear of facing someone who felt like they were out to destroy you. If you’ve ever been in that situation, you know exactly what I mean. My only consolation was that I was not the only one receiving this treatment. Some of my ex-colleagues who left before me had also experienced it themselves.

I wanted to leave early on. I sent out resumes after resumes. Hundreds of them, though I probably didn’t hit the same record as Colonel Sanders. However, the silence was deafening. In that length of time, I only had 1 interview and even that came to naught.

So, I figured that I was there for a purpose. A purpose no one else would ever want to have.

To learn as much as possible from a bad boss.

Oh, when I say bad, I meant that he crossed all the T’s of being “a bad boss”.

Leaving my job was like leaving hell behind, finally. Even though I had quit without another job, I knew I had a deeper purpose.

A purpose to share my experience and to teach future leaders what not to do.

When I left, my colleagues gave me their well wishes. They also expressed their regret and sorrow for the horrid experience I had to go through these past few years. My response shocked them and even myself at the moment. “I actually learnt quite a lot from him.” With utter disbelief, they stared at me and commented, “How can you learn from a bad boss? What could you possibly learn from him?”

I learnt what a leader should never do.

We often assume learning only comes from good leaders. Those who inspire, empower, and make a positive difference. However, this whole episode helped me understand that we can learn from bad leaders too. Learning to be aware of the bad decisions and attitudes that leaders should never do nor have. That has led me to form my mission and purpose.

Now, I speak, train, and coach leaders of today and tomorrow. I equip youths and young adults with the mindset of success and motivation. I empower individuals to become more resilient, both mentally and physically.